Dust coats everything here

Dust coats everything here, relentlessly. Dust seeps in through cracks. Through opened windows covered with simple wire screens. My clothes are more brown than any other color. As I walk the streets they turn from white to brown. I put them in the water to be washed but then they are hung upon the line and the dust swirls about happy to resettle on the shirt I just tried to rid it of. I wipe the windows free of dust but within an hour they are coated once again. I try to sweep the carpet removing a layer of dust but the carpet will never be clean. A simple broom is no combatant for the dust army. The dust knows that it is the true ruler of Nazret, Ethiopia. Those who try to argue with it only miss out in the end as the dust returns to claim the place. You can try to keep it at bay by closing doors and windows. By removing your shoes when entering the rooms but some how the dust creeps back in. Dust and cockroaches are every where. I wonder if one creates the other. Does the cockroach arise out of the dust or the dust from the cockroach. I am pretty sure it is the cockroach that arises out of the dust.

I imagine that the food is flavored in dust but I am so accustomed to it I no longer notice. I may think my feet are clean but when I dip them in water the water quickly turns brown. I have forgotten what true white looks like. I am coming to appreciate the color brown. There is nothing more attractive than brown even white must have a touch of brown to be a truly beautiful color. Dust covers my arms massaging them gently. My hair becomes coarse as the dust entertwines around each strand deepening the brown. My make up will soon become obsolete as the dust will hide the blemishes on my face and make me beautiful and slightly brown. I could wash my shoes four times a day and still they would turn grey from all the dust.

Keeping clean is useless, it can’t be done. Oddly enough we still try. We wash daily. We send our clothes to be washed. We use the dusty broom to remove the dust from the floors. We wash ourselves and our possessions. And we do make some difference by decreasing the amount of dust. To dust we will return.

Christ is present in our Joy

ME: Jesus, I have been here a long time now. The years have passed and I have suffered greatly. I have known loneliness, bitterness, pain, suffering, and many other things. Today, the sun shines brightly and I want to give you thanks. Today is a new day! Today is the day that you have made. No matter what comes may I rejoice and be glad in it.

GOD: “My child, it is good to hear you say these things. Yes, today is the day that I have made. Today go and rejoice. Today you will find joy! Walk and listen.”

Me: I start my journey wondering who I will meet today. It has been awhile since I walked these streets. The streets I used to walk every day. Soon I see an old friend once overcome with hopelessness.

Me: “My friend, today your face is joyful, may I ask why?”

Friend: “Let those who fear the Lord say “His love endures forever.” In my anguish I cried to the Lord, and he answered by setting me free!” Your words, your action, your presence with me in my suffering have shown me that I am loved. I was captive to the lies of the enemy that told me I was no good and worthless. But now I know that is not true. I am joyful. You listened to me when no one else would. You found worth in me and my ideas when everyone else laughed at me. Now there is an opportunity for me to use my business and my business skills to give back to the community. Now I can serve others. Now I know what it is to be joyful! Thank you for being with me. Please, come to my house for dinner to celebrate!”

Me:“I will come. I wish to celebrate with you. I am excited with you.”

ME: Thank you Jesus for showing that you care, I will praise you for you are good!

GOD: Keep going there is more.

Me: I continue my walk my steps lighter than before. In the distance I see a woman whose face seems familiar, but I can’t quiet place her. She comes up to me.

Friend: “Hey, how are you?”
Me: “I am doing well. How are you today?”
Friend: “Very well, praise the Lord. Would you like some coffee? I just brewed a fresh pot?”
Me: “I have a couple minutes. I can join you.”
Friend: I must share with you that my heart is filled with joy. “Though I have seen troubles many and bitter. God has restored my life again. From the depths he brought me up. (Psalms 71:20)” I grieved the death of my sister, and though I still miss her, I am happy. I have made some bad mistakes. I have hurt many people, but I know that I am forgiven. Today, I know that there is life and it I worth living. I have graduated college. I am a leader in the church. Young men and women come to me when they are confused and hurting and I am able to help them understand their lives matter. They can make a difference in the world around them. There is hope for the future. I am now a parent to children who have no parents. My family looks on me with great respect. Though I am the youngest, though I was the least, now I am the one they come too. Give thanks to the Lord for he is good, his love endures forever.”

Me: Jesus, I give you praise. Your have restored your people and placed praise on their lips. When we wait patiently for you. We receive your promises. I walk the streets of Nazareth and soon I meet my once homeless friend.


Friend: “My friend! It is so good to see you. Thank you for helping me. I must tell you what has happened to me since you helped provide food and shelter. I must thank you for sticking with me. My stomach was empty but now it is full. I have plenty of clothes, medicine, and other supplies. Now I am getting an education. Now I have hope for a future. I am going to college! I have been promised a future. I have been brought up from the grave and been given a chance at life! My heart jumps for joy. Please, join with me in celebration!”

Me: The joy on my friends faces, Jesus where did it come from? Jesus you were present in suffering, in anger, now are you present in joy?

God: Yes my child, I am with you. I am mighty to save. I take great delight in you. I quite you with my love. I rejoice over you with singing!
Yes I am with you in your suffering, your holy anger, and in your joy. I am with you that you may be with others. I am with you that you may know me. I am in you that others may know me. Go into the world, as I came into the world, and share in the lives of others. In sharing in their lives you are sharing in mine too.

All Isaiah 12
“I will praise you O Lord, although you were angry with me, your anger has turned away and you have comforted me.
Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord is my song; he has become my salvation.”
With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation.
Give thanks to the Lord call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done, proclaim that his name is exalted.
Sing to the Lord, for he has done glorious things; let this be known to all the world.
Shout aloud and sing for joy, people of Zion, for great is the Holy One of Israel among you.”

Christ enters into our righteous anger

Jesus, I’m not so sure I want to go to work today. It only frustrates me. They claim to desire to help others. They display all the right actions but the evidence isn’t there. They want more and more money but the street children and the orphans never seem to have enough. They are always talking about themselves. Always promoting their names. Why is it Lord that those in power take advantage of the weak? It makes me angry. Is it ok for me to be angry?

“Go, you have work to do. As you meet your friends listen for my voice.”


As I walk I try to listen. In the distance I see my lonely friend.

“Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God.”

Hey. People are cruel. My coworkers want nothing to do with me. They spend their time together but do not wish for me to join them. They are willing to buy me anything but they refuse to get to know me. They are too busy, or so they say. But that is not true. I see them spending time with others. They always have an activity. A place to go, family to visit. Please, if you are going to say Aizosh (its going to be ok) keep your words to yourself. I do not want your companionship unless you can’t truly care.

My friend, may I never offer you meaningless empty words.

“Woe, to you who are rich, for you have already received your comfort.”

Why do people feel the need to offer empty comfort? Those who are already empty can easily see through. Jesus can you be angry too?

“Walk and listen.”

Soon I see the street child. Her stomach empty.
“Blessed are you who hunger now, for you will be satisfied.”

My friend, here is some bread I have brought for you.

What do you want from me? I am hungry, you have plenty of food. Is this bread simply a way to get rid of me? Each day we meet. Sometimes you offer me food. Others hit me. Yell at me. Beat me. They do not offer food. If they do they expect me to give them something or leave them alone. The restaurants throw out their food and if I try to eat they hit me. They give the dogs the food. They beat me. I am hungry. I will steal to eat. Keep treating me this way, I will probably rob form you. I do not want your aid, for it will come against me.
My friend, may I not offer you food that I may gain. Please, know that I do not desire to harm you.

“Woe to you who are well fed now, for you will go hungry.”

Jesus, how can your children find hope when others continually put them down. How can your love shine through when angry words and cruel actions are the reply? How can you not be angry at the actions of your people?

I’m almost to the office.

“Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh?”

You want some chat? While you are chewing feel free to laugh at me. Everyone does these days. They think my situation funny. They think it’s all a big joke. Laugh life is funny. Who wouldn’t laugh when the only good person they know has died? It’s a cruel world. There is so much pain. Tell me please how they can laugh when she has died. I can’t take this pain. I really want to laugh. To do anything to take this pain away. She loved Jesus; he let her die. She sought what was right. They laugh; I can’t. I don’t care much what happens. Please, if you want to laugh go somewhere else. I will keep my chat.

My friend, I will not laugh. I will not force you to be happy.

“Woe to you who laugh now, for you will mourn and weep.”

Jesus are you angry too?

“Yes, my child. I too am angry at the injustice of my people.”

“Blessed are you when men hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man.”

I arrive at work where my supervisor begins to boast of all the good he thinks he has accomplished. All the people he has helped. He tells me how his dreams are coming true. He speaks of those we serve with language that puts down. I try to suggest change. But then he begins to blame. The fault is never his but always the actions of someone else. He is your friend until he can take nothing more from you. Then you are seen as an enemy and he has nothing good to say about you.

“Woe to you when all men speak well of you, for that is how their fathers treated the false prophets.”

Jesus, why do people in power and authority need to tear others down? Jesus why is it that those with who are rich, well fed, happy, and safe. Those who appear clean on the outside take from the poor, the hurting, the hungry? These people’s actions appear good but their hearts are corrupt. Jesus, what is it that you require of me?

“My child, “I have shown you what is good. Act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with me your God.”

Thank you for entering into our anger.

Christ is present in our Suffering

This is the drama, I wrote for the morning wworship time here at the retreat center in Kenya. Each of the three days I will write about the lives of these three characters. I am the narrator. Three other MCCers from Ethiopia are the characters (street child, someone who lost a close loved one, and an ordinary middle class woman - all Ethiopians\African). The story went well today. It is better acted out but at least you get an idea. The part in quotes is the voice of God.

Jesus not long ago I received the prophesy that you have great things in store for me but they will not come without great suffering. Jesus, each day I wake up, here in Africa and I walk to work. Each day I see hunger, homelessness, pain. Why, must there be so much suffering. Why does the world outside the safety of my compound seem to be falling apart.
Jesus, today I need you. I need a message of hope. I need to know you are here.

“My child, do not be afraid. As you walk today, listen.”

I begin my walk to work. Trying not to think of the struggles it may bring. As I travel the dusty roads, I meet a youngster I’ve seen around the office. My friend how is your day?

Sister, it is not good. My dad, he was a truck driver and on his journeys he slept with many women when he returned home he brought some money but he also brought HIV/AIDS. He soon became sick and then my mother got sick too. Now they are both dead. I went to live with my grandmother with my five brothers and sisters. But she is old and can not care for us. I left. Now I live on the streets. I am very hungry now. Can you please give me money. I came to the city, I thought it’d be better.
Please excuse the way I look. I’m part of a street gang. It’s the only way to survive. I got in a fight. The other girl insulted my mother. I confess, I steel. But I do so to live. I do so for protection. You do not know what the streets are like. I am cold. I am hungry. I am lonely. I am hurting. Please, can you help me. I am 14 years old.

Jesus, can you lie? Where is the hope? I find no comfort here.

"Open your heart. Listen, my child."

I continue. Trying to listen. I meet another person along the way. My friend how is your day?

You want to join me for a drink? You should really try some chat. The local drugs are great. They will help erase that pain from your face. Trust me I know. Yes, I am aware it is not yet 9 am. But you have to understand the pain is to much for me to take. My sister, she died young. She was my very best friend. She was so kind and good. She had her whole life in front of her. She was the kindest person I knew, always giving to others before herself. Life is not the same without her. Why did God, let her die? Why, didn’t he take me instead. I’m messed up as you can see. I will never amount to anything. I am worthless. I help no one. It should have been me. Can’t you see; I should have been the one not her. Please, join me for a drink – you too will feel better.

Hopeless, that is what this is. God, I’m not so sure you haven’t deserted us. I continue on my walk. Everywhere I look there is pain. I meet a woman with pretty clothes and money to spare. I really hope she can bring a breath of fresh air. I go up to her and say: You want to join me for a cup of tea?

Okay, but you have to know. I’m worthless. My life is a series of failures. I have food in my stomach and clothes on my back but there is no one to love me. My father, he beat me. My mother died young. All my friends have deserted me. I have money. I have power, but I am all alone. I started my own business, it is successful. But my life is empty. There is nothing in store for me. My wealth simply covers my wounds. You think I am happy, but really I’m not sure I want to face tomorrow. There is no one to care. No one to show me what love is. I have money but I am poor.

Jesus the suffering is great. I am not so sure that the people know the hope of what is to come. Jesus, why is there so much suffering. Why must suffering be a part of growth? Why must these people wander in the desert dry from lack of love. Hunger in the wilderness for lack of provisions. Why must there be such suffering?

"My child, I have entered with you in suffering that you may now enter with others. “Comfort my people, say I your God. Speak tenderly to these my children and proclaim that their hard service has been completed, that their sins have been paid for., that they have received from the Lord’s hand double for their sins. Listen to the voice calling “In the desert prepare the way of the Lord make straight in the wilderness a valley for our God. Every valley shall be raised up and every mountain and hill be made low. The rough ground shall become level the rugged places a plain.” My glory will be revealed and all humankind together will see it. Yes, my child, I am present in your suffering. I am present in your suffering so that you may join with these in their suffering too"

Thank you for being present in suffering.

Acting on HIV/AIDS

This past week I have been typing up the stories of street children and orphans in RPC's various programs. The stories of the orphan children follow the same general pattern. I was born to my parents, they made very little, I have several brothers and sisters. Then my father died and my mother got a low paying job that was not enough to feed our family. Then either the mother also died and they went to live with relatives who could not care for them or the mother was no longer able to support them. The mother or the relative then brought them to RPC hoping for assistance. And if I am typing their story it means RPC is giving them assistance. This assistance includes food, clothing, medical care, personal hygiene care, and sometimes food. The stories of the street children are similar but different. Many of these children have parents that are still alive. Those with living parents wound up on the streets for one of two reasons; first their family was to poor to care for them and second they fought with their father and were forced to leave home. Some of the children are double orphans which means they lost both parents and as a result are forced to live on the streets.

How easy it is for me to tell these stories or to read these stories back in the States and cry at the injustice. But now I don't just have stories. I know and am friends with many who stories I write. I see the transformation in their lives as they cry for hope and now have the possibility of a future. But most of the time when I am with these kids or teenagers I see more than their story. I see people. The former street children are my friends. The children double orphaned by HIV/AIDS are my brother and sister. I watch movies with them. They tease me about kicking the soccer ball. We attempt to understand each other. Yes, sometimes they want to call me sister, mother, aunt because they hunger for that but the beauty is they are happy.

When I received an email last week from a friend describing HIV/AIDS awareness week on campus last week and reminding me of the orange T-Shirts we wore four years ago to show the prevalence of those orphaned by HIV/AIDS I paused to think. Here I see billboards cautioning about the transmission of the virus. Here we talk openly about it. Here my friends are working one on one with those infected. Here I know children left orphaned by the virus. Here the children are the orange T-shirts not an abstract representation of something I can not fathom. Here it is reality. Here I know the statistics; I live the statistics. I share in the pain with the victims. But I still can not fathom the extent of the HIV/AIDS pandemic. The terms we give it seems almost silly compared to the reality. It is strange to think of my friends as statistics. Strange to think my little friend who tries to teach me Amharic is a child on one of the compassion cards who has a sponsor mother in Australia.

I wonder how it feels to be a statistic. I wonder what it is like to be described as a victim of the HIV/AIDS pandemic. I wonder how it feels to know there are people in Indiana wearing a T-shirt that represents you. I am not saying this is bad. Awareness is very good. And child sponsorship is good. But it is strange to think the materials are not materials but reality.

Lets keep acting on AIDS – let me know what you discover as ways to act and I will let you know what I discover. Perhaps you can help me understand how the awareness you create on campus and the relationships I have with the "statistics" can bring peace.

The Kingdom of God is like a Story

I leave shortly for Nazret and am somewhat at a loss as to what to write. Today I had tea with my friend Abraham and then we went to visit his week old baby. As I meet with Abraham he shares parts of his story. Though here is not the place to tell his story I will share some words he shared. We were talking about the power of sharing our stories. He says that in sharing his story he hopes to help others know they are not alone in their suffering. He told us that the pain and suffering he has gone through has helped him develop an empathy for fellow Ethiopians. Abraham has a good heart and much wisdom. He has made mistakes and he has suffered greatly but he is willing to share and he is learning to keep going and to find hope.

On Sunday the MCC team prepared the church service. Instead of giving a sermon we told stories. Our stories began with the Kingdom of God is like…

I wrote that the Kingdom of God is like a story. By sharing our stories we can work to bring reconciliation. As I share my story and Abraham shares his story we learn that we are interconnected. By sharing our stories, though details may be different, we learn that we all share the human experience and in that experience there are joys and sorrows. As we listen to each other, the other becomes a person. A person who is like you, a person who you can relate to. When the other obtains an identity it is harder to hate, harder to ignore. When you know a person action and reconciliation become more likely. The power of story brings about shared suffering, shared hope, shared joy, shared healing, and shared reconciliation. And this is the Kingdom of God where each person matters.

I watched “Cry the Beloved Country” today. The movie takes place in South Africa in the 1940s during a time of great division and violence between blacks and whites. At one point we hear in the words of a white man that the violence is their fault. I can’t remember the rest of the line but I feel like it had something to do with the white man needing to take responsibility for separating themselves from the black South Africans. The movie depicts two fathers one whose son killed the others son. The two fathers one black the other white meet each other and share their stories. When the two men share their stories they learn to care for the other and the one who lost his son learns to care for the other son and his family. When we share our stories we find common ground on which relationships are built and peace and reconciliation are possible.

In time I too will have more stories to share and as you hear them the people here in Ethiopia will come to life – hopefully J.

Peace

Silence in the New Year

Hi. Here is the devotion I gave in language class on Friday.

After great deliberation I have decided that the topic of silence is appropriate for today’s devotion. You see I like to listen but lately people keep telling me I need to speak – I just can’t seem to figure out why. You see the Bible is full of passages that talk about silence. We hear the story of Elijah and God’s voice being in the stillness and in the silence. In Isaiah 32:17 we learn that the fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever. Later in the prophets I read “In repentance and rest is your salvation; in quietness and trust is your strength.” In 1 Timothy 2 Paul urges that we should lead peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness because this is good and pleases God our Savior. There are numerous other places that talk about and urge us to live quiet lives. So I am left asking, “why can’t I too be silent.”

In my nightly readings I came across a section of writing by Henri Nouwen that address the damage of noise. He writes….

Recently I was driving through Los Angeles, and suddenly I had the strange sensation of driving through a huge dictionary. Wherever I looked there were words trying to take my eyes from the road. They said, “Use me, take me, buy me, drink me, smell me, touch me, kiss me, sleep with me.” In such a world, who can maintain respect for words?

All this is to suggest that words, my own included, have lost their creative power. Their limitless multiplication has made us lose confidence in words caused us to think, more often than not, “They are just words.”

Teachers speak to students for six, twelve, eighteen, and sometimes twenty-four years. But the students often emerge from the experience with the feeling: “They were just words.” Preachers preach their sermons week after week and year after year. But their parishioners remain the same and often think: “They are just words.” Politicians, businessmen, ayatollahs, and popes give speeches and make statements “in season and out of season,” but those who listen say: “They are just words… just another distraction.”

The result of this is that the main function of the word, which is communication, is no longer realized. The word no longer communicates, no longer fosters communion, no longer creates community, and therefore no longer gives life. The word no longer offers trustworthy ground on which people can meet each other and build society.

Henri Nouwen The Way of The Heart

Silence is to be regarded as good and sacred or words become useless. But there is also a time to speak. Throughout the Old Testament the prophets are given words from God to speak. In Ezekiel we learn that it is the role of the watchman to cry out and that if the watchman does not come and disaster falls on the city he is to blame. Jesus spoke to the crowds. Paul wrote letters. Words can be good and communication is very helpful. Although I understand a great deal by watching hand gestures and facial expressions I miss much of the abstract when words are not used. I am a writer, after all, without words where would I be. When used correctly language is a positive powerful tool that allows for the quietness to be sacred.

In conclusion I guess I better start speaking.

Blessings in the New Year (we celebrate the coming of 2001 on Thursday September 11)